Tis the season to build succah’s

Posted on +00002006-10-05T17:44:24+00:00312006bUTCThu, 05 Oct 2006 17:44:24 +0000 5, 206


It happens every year right after Yom Kippur. Thats right we crazies like to build flimsy huts on our decks to eat drink and be merry for 8 happy days. It always stars with that phone call usually in the middle of a meal of bagels, salad and OJ otheriwse known as the break fast meal.

“Hey dude, what you doing tomorow?”

This is where you try and make up some excuse about needing to get your car fixed, or having to work late- because you know theres no stress like succah building. Of course after the offer of free food possibly even beer- you grudgingly say fine- at least its a mitzvah.

Now succah building is not rocket science at all- in fact- no matter many succah’s you build-you will still suck- and it will raise your blood pressure every time. It makes no difference whether its as fancy click together succah, traditional wood, or even those canvas ones that end up down the street during wind storms. Thats right folks- its nothing like riding a bike- you forget every year how to even build your own succah, and every year you get pissed off about it.

I built three succah’s this year. 2 in Cleveland and one in Albany. I had nothing better to do and the prospect of free food is always near. In fact in Albany, those chabbadnicks tend to be very smart because they advertised it as a Succah building BBQ- hmm build the succah and eat hot dogs and hamburgs- this is the best way to go. Anyway In Cleveland it went off without a hitch- but theres always the person that takes charge and decides every one else will hold the poles,canvas,wood,scach- whatever while he gets to use the power tools.

I noticed something interesting this year and thouht I would share my thoughts. Every holiday it seems that the women get to strees. Whether its 2 months before Pesach and they yell at you for eating chometz in the living room, or maybe its making enough food for any of the yomim tovim, or maybe it is cleaning, cooking, shopping, yelling, taking kids to those stupid chol hamoid carnivals on 13th ave, whatever it may be- the women are usually stressed and screaming while us men sit on the sidelines and pray that over all the pissing and monaing the stuffed cabbage will be good.

Succos is the ultimate payback for women. They get to watch as a bunch of men try and put together a box. They watch as men curse when they get splinters or drop all the scach on their heads, they get to quietly chuckle as the men yell at each other as to who knows how to use the drill the best. This is payback for all those cooking sprees that lasted all night, for all those times they had to clean up 4 week old donuts from beneath the couch, and this is their time to relish and our agony.

I saw this at one of succah buildings where one of the men was getting all stressed and his wife kept telling him to calm down. Really what she was saying was “yeh see how you like all the pre-yom tov stress…ha,ha,ha..”

Posted in: Holidays